I am thankful for a job, but I really don’t wanna go to work tomorrow. :-(
SBG’s greatest hit! LOL! I feel like I have an album. So many notes on a moment that wasn’t even outside of the norm. Too funny.
You are all welcome to listen to My pet learning self-control.
Posting because Daddy told me to.
:)Something about that turned me on…idk what but I’m very wet now…
damn that made me horny
It’s fucking back…SBG’s greatest hit ever!!! It will never get old!!!
Honestly? I’d chalk it up to lesson learned. That exact scenario has happened to me… oh gosh, lemme see… gimme a sec while I count… I’m still counting…
A lot of people want the play without the commitment. A lot of people, on Fetlife especially, want the ass and not the heart. My suggestion is to get to know someone pretty well before you entertain the idea of having your ass in the air on their command. If they’re not asking about your day, your hobbies, your plans, your kids, your vanilla likes, etc., ask them about theirs. If they clearly don’t want to talk ‘nilla, or they don’t ask the same/similar of you, or the conversation always seems to return to you being a good girl with your ass in the air… Well, there’s your answer. And that’s ok! If you want to play, play.
But if you want more, SAY you want more. It’s ok to say it. You’re not asking the dude to marry you, but saying “I’m not looking for casual play partners” is A-ok! I say it to men ALL THE TIME. I simply can’t (won’t) submit unless I can imagine a future with them and they’ve shown me, through our vanilla interactions, they’re someone I want to submit to.
(And don’t fall for the, “Well, this is HOW we get to know each other…” line. It’s true, sex is part of it. But it’s far from all of it. If you feel something is lacking, something is lacking.)
Regarding lack of aftercare, I’d have to know what you view as appropriate. He may have dropped the ball, or your expectations weren’t met because you didn’t voice your needs. From what you described, he bailed on ‘aftercare’ because he’d gotten what he wanted and was done.
Thank you. I guess I’m still a little naive, too trusting and not confrontational, and in this situation I really need to be. This guy says he wants to own me, he wants long term was not concerned with if I was enjoying myself or how I was feeling. The Dom that owned me before this would cause me pain of course, but he would gradually inflict pain on me, and never give me more than he thought I could handle this Dom didn’t even seem concerned if I was okay.
But… that’s part of the problem. Your thinking, I mean. How is advocating for yourself and your needs being ‘confrontational’??
LADIES. (Anyone, really.) If you’re not getting what you need, USE YOUR VOICE. If you’re still not getting what you need, GO FIND WHAT YOU NEED. In this society we’re trained from a very young age to clasp our hands in our laps, smile sweetly, and nod. Anything said in passion or with a raised voice is unladylike and confrontational.
I call bullshit.
You are allowed to express your wants and needs. You may not get every little thing you want, but the overall dynamic should include your happiness and well-being. Right now I’m on financial (and sugar!) lockdown, and I’m not exactly thrilled with it. Sometimes downright annoyed. (Seriously, that dress was CUTE. And half off!! Pffft.) But I get it, and I comply, because I know decisions are made from a place of caring. If someone doesn’t care, guess what? Either do I.
I feel the same way and talk about it often.
A submissive has the right to express what she wants and needs. You do not remain quiet and allow someone to treat you in a way that makes you uncomfortable simply because of your submissive nature. You should want to be with someone who cares about you fully and as a complete person! Not someone who wants to use you sexually, train you, and doesn’t care about all that you are.
I agree that as a sub there will be times you will be denied things that you want as part of training and your growth…but a Dom will want you for things any vanilla guy would. If you’re uncomfortable and feeling like you can’t speak up then that’s not a healthy way to start any relationship. Think about what you need and what’s best for you. Remove the D/s aspect and look at the man. Is he someone you would date if he didn’t call himself a Dom. If not, then keep it moving.